What Is Radically Open DBT?
A Guide to Healing Your Hyper-Perfectionism with Radically Open DBT
The goal of every overachiever is to be so together and in control they never feel rejection.
But with the loneliness that comes from such intense perfectionism, it can be hard to experience the connection and belonging you crave.
Oftentimes, it just comes down to misguided strategies. The only outcome of perfectionism is loneliness and then a whole lotta shame.
Maybe you’ve been trying a new morning routine that includes meditation and yoga, wondering why you still break out into stress sweats when you want to say ‘no.’
It can make you feel so irritated and then just want to give up.
Today, you’re in luck! I’m going to share the therapy process that will help you dissolve anxiety, build close relationships, and create a meaningful life without ever asking ‘how did that make you feel?’
I'll cover this therapy process, Radically Open DBT, how it works and how you can get started.
Keep reading for more details.
What Is Radically Open DBT?
It aims to educate you on the overcontrol nervous system, empower you to face difficult emotions like resentment and envy, and create life giving relationships.
The three pillars of Radically Open DBT are openness, flexibility, and social connectedness.
Imagine receiving important feedback and not having a massive shame spiral. Or being able to switch plans without a heavy tension in your chest. Or easily making a new friend from a stranger.
Download now: Do you have Overcontrol? Take the overcontrol questionnaire!
Why Is Radically Open DBT Effective?
Statistics show that up to 23% of the population has an overcontrolled personality profile.
That means 1 out of every 5 people are hardworking, hyper-perfectionistic, and experience sensory sensitivity. And 1 out of every 5 people struggle with loneliness, intense anxiety, and constant social comparison.
Typical therapy and coping skills actually reinforce the core problem of overcontrol.
By implementing Radically Open DBT, you’ll be able to get to the root of your anxiety, chronic depression, and hyper-perfectionism.
This way, you will dissolve your anxiety and depression. AND improve your relationships.
Also, Radically Open DBT gives you the ability to leave loneliness behind and improve your relationships.
That means you won’t have to spend hours overthinking every conversation you’ve ever experienced in the past (or future).
RO-DBT Essentials
If Radically Open DBT sounds overwhelming, I get it.
It’s an evidence based blend of mindfulness AND behavioral therapy AND neuroscience.
By working with your temperament and experiences of growing up, Radically Open DBT is an overcontrolled personality’s best shot at healing.
So I put together the examples below to break it down for you so you can easily get started with Radically Open DBT. Even without a therapist.
Essential #1. Openness
This is the willingness to question yourself and your beliefs in order to learn and grow.
Although this may seem like a waste of time, the most effective people in the world have this trait.
Plus, openness allows you to become more and more in line with your own values.
A key philosophy of Radically Open DBT is “we don’t know what we don’t know.” In order for a kid to learn how to tie their shoes, they first have to understand they don’t know how to tie their shoes.
Openness needs courage. It’s not just the willingness to question yourself, it means actively seeking out new and even uncomfortable experiences in order to learn.
If your goal is to become a professional athlete, you have to be willing to seek how the areas of your athletic weakness and work on it to improve. If your goal is to become a better person… the same idea applies.
Openness also requires humility and a willingness to learn from other people. Two ingredients that improve relationships.
That means you have a reliable way to make your relationships closer and stronger.
Essential #2. Flexibility
The faster you can adapt to change, the better you’ll be able to experience life without the constant buzz and tension of anxiety.
That’s where flexibility comes in.
Flexible control is the ability to adapt to changes in your relationships, environment, and stages of life.
Break ups and divorce require the ability to adapt to a lot of change, very quickly. Which is why overcontrol personalities experience acute pain during this enormous life change.
Moving to a new place. Different daily and weekly routines. Plus a completely new perspective on what your future could be.
The best way to implement flexibility is to lean into your emotions and practice acceptance.
Most overachievers I work with experience an emotion (grief, disappointment, irritation, envy) and then a wave of self condemnation for experiencing that exact emotion (“this is stupid”, “I’m being ridiculous”, “I need to just get over it”).
Flexibility here means peeling back the layer of self judgment. Identify the emotion you’re experiencing. And then offer the type of emotional support you’d offer to a small child experiencing the same emotion.
Essential #3. Social Connectedness
This is a state of feeling close to other people.
Although this may seem like a ‘no duh’, it’s actually the most important factor to our mental health.
What makes Radically Open DBT unique is the goal of treatment. It’s not to reduce anxiety or depression symptoms. Or build up your window of tolerance. Or experience a profound emotional release.
The research underpinning Radically Open DBT shows that the most protective mental health factor for the overcontrolled personality is one close, strong relationship.
So the goal of Radically Open DBT is to enable you to have at least one very close relationship.
The type of friendship or partner you can ugly cry in front of. The type of friend you can confess a really embarrassing mistake. The type of partner who both knows and enjoys your quirks and foibles (you know, how you mispronounce certain words or accidentally chew really loud).
That means you need just one authentic, vulnerable connection to experience all the other things you want - freedom from anxiety, close relationships, and a meaningful life.
Putting It All Together
Nowadays, overachievers prefer tasky to do lists because it helps them feel in control and fully competent.
If you really want to dissolve the exhaustion and resentment that comes from hyper-perfectionism, you can’t overlook Radically Open DBT.
It’s the only therapy model specifically tailored for the overcontrolled personality.
The metaphor I use most often with clients is a baby in bath water. We want to wrap up that hard working, sensitive, socially conscious little baby in a warm fuzzy towel. And drain the bath water of stress, rigidity, harsh self talk, and shame storms.
And if the idea of an Overcontrol Personality makes you feel offended or dismissive, consider this:
Most overcontrol personality types are naturally skeptical. It’s what made us more likely to survive back in the olden cave people days.
Now, if the idea of Radically Open DBT makes you feel uncomfortable or skeptical, consider this:
Radically Open DBT is extremely effective. Studies report rates of full recovery from depression reported as high as 71%.
That means if you have an overcontrol personality and don’t engage in Radically Open DBT, you’re more likely to spend a lot more time and a lot more money in therapy.
One thing you can do is grab my free overcontrol questionnaire and see where you land on the overcontrol spectrum.
Grab my free [freebie related to this step] here.
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Start Radically Open DBT Today
I hope this guide on overcontrol personality and Radically Open DBT has been helpful. If you take anything away from this guide, remember that Radically Open DBT is tailor made to work with the overcontrol personality to create the life they really want.
Free Overcontrol Questionnaire
Now that you know the ins and outs of Radically Open DBT, it's time to grab your Overcontrol Questionnaire and see how your anxiety and perfectionism falls on the overcontrol scale. The following Overcontrol Questionnaire includes all the major cateogries of overcontrol so you can know if Radically Open DBT is the best fit for you.
